Category Archives: My Friends

The Seasons Of Friendship

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My My sister Miki and IDad explained the doctrine of the trinity to me by telling me about the many relationships he juggled. He told me God is one God, but three persons, and then he’d say: “You know, I’m your Dad, and I’m my Mom’s son, and I’m your Uncle’s brother. See? I’m three people, but I’m still one person. Each person is different.” He wasn’t eloquent, but he taught a good lesson. Each person was a different way of relating. As a Father, he related to us in authority. In teaching and guidance, and in placing rules and boundaries. As a son, he related in obedience and respect. He loved his Mother, respected her, obeyed her, when it was his role to do so. As a brother he related in friendship, companionship, and a sense of understanding, compassion. This gave me such a deep understanding of the trinity, and how God operates in three persons. I really appreciate my Dad’s wisdom in this particular teaching.

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My twin and I, at our very best

His wisdom extended to other things too, in this case. As a Mom of 4, I am also juggling a variety of relationships, and at this season in my life, it feels as if some of those balls are going to drop. I’ve gone through periods of anxiety and frustration, feeling as if my friendships are suffering, my family is suffering, and I am suffering, all because I just can’t figure out how to spread myself thin enough to cover everyone. I’ve learned though, through one of my truest friends, that I don’t HAVE to cover everyone. Friendship has its seasons.

First, lets define a friend in the Biblical sense. According to Proverbs “there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.” I always assumed as a child that that must automatically mean you spend more time with them. As an adult, my perspective has changed drastically. I’ve learned that friendship is a relationship that puts others before self, that to find good friends, one ought to seek wisdom in their friends.

That our companions influence us, and that there are Biblical examples of friendship that does stick closer than a Brother (David and Jonathan, Ruth and Naomi… etc.)

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My little sister and I engaging in the normal silliness.

A friend is someone who loves you more than they love themselves. They understand you, and cherish you.

In my life I have lived in fear of losing friendships. But in losing friends, I learned that a friend I lost was one I never really had. There are some friendships that can survive the seasons we all go through, and those are the ones worth cultivating, sticking with. They are few and far between. I am blessed that in these types of friends, I am not truly short.

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My husband, the best friend I’ve ever had. ❤

Friendship does have its seasons though. Marriage is the only friendship in which each season is always experienced (or ought to be) side by side and arm in arm with that friend. My husband has been through everything that I have been through. And I have joined him in his triumphs and tragedies as well. We have a friendship that transcends all others.

Family is similar to marriage, in that you are linked for life. It is a rare and tragic thing for living family members to be so separated, that they do not share in the general hills and valleys of life’. As for my other friends, I have learned that sometimes friendship is like the tide, it ebbs and flows. At one point I feared this cycle, thinking I would lose my friend. I have since found that what maintains our friendship in this ebb and flow is an understanding of permanence, and commitment. No matter what season I have been in with certain friends, the friendship itself remains strong, and is something I can always count on.
Friendship can go from the warm summer of everything going just as it ought, with plenty of things in common, and time to spend together, to a winter where time and opportunity just seem scarce. Do not think you have lost your friendship just because you and your friend have little in common at the moment, just love each other, and you will have that summer again.

Right now, as a Mom, I am in a season where friendship, of all kinds, takes a backseat to marriage and family. I can’t always drop all four of my children to go on a bike ride with a friend. Or take all of them along on a shopping trip. It requires careful planning, and a miracle of sorts for me to have special time alone with my adult friends. I have friends who despite the strong bond of friendship, we have little in common as far as life goes. I want to encourage other Moms, just because your friend of YEARS has no children yet, does not mean you cannot maintain your deep connection with her. Persevere. This is a season. It will ebb and flow with each one. I still go to my friend, Brooke, to cry, talk, ask advice, and whether or not she and I are in the same place right now, I always find her to be a good friend with plenty to think on, because she is that friend who always points me right back to scripture. She is wise, because her wisdom comes from fearing God, and that is what will make her a good friend no matter what season of life either of us are in. She reminds me of that verse in Proverbs: “As iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens a friend’s character.” Proverbs 27:17

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I have many types of friends, with whom I can socialize while our children get together and have fun. I have a few friends going through the same season of life as I, and I find that comforting, challenging even.  We call and write one another to keep each other honest, to encourage each other. One such friend and I have thousands of emails under our belts with subjects such as “How do you handle an earache with your baby?” or “What do you feel God’s Word has to say about what media we expose our kids to?” or “How much chocolate did you eat today? I’ve had 3 bars already. It is a 3 chocolate bar kind of day…”  All I have to do is tell her I’m starting potty training this week, and I know she will be praying right on target, and maybe have some practical hands on advice. This is a woman who introduced me to the feared cloth diapers. And she was totally right! They aren’t nearly that bad. They are actually kind of easy if you know what you are doing, and baby is much more comfortable! Well worth the money saved! Jenny knows just what I need to hear because she has been there. She knows when I need some encouragement, some prayer, or someone to understand just what I am going through. She reminds me of another proverb: “Whoever sings songs to a heavy heart is like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, and like vinegar on soda” (Prov. 25:20)

Friendship is not something we can control, or try to. It is a gift. And while we have it, we ought to cherish it by being a good friend. The most important thing I have learned is to have good friends you must BE a good friend. And that starts with thinking about how God has treated you. Loved you. He has forgiven you, loved you when you were unlovable. I know that as a friend, I have caused pain to my friends, whether I set out to, or not. Be the kind of friend you want to have, and be understanding with your friends when you are both in a season where it is hard to keep up with each other.
“A man who has friends must show himself to be friendly, but there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24

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This morning I woke up inspired by my fellow Mom bloggers. I have read and followed many encouraging women such as The Straightened Path, Raising Olives, Life in A Shoe (Congrats Kim on your new little one!) and Large Families On Purpose. I have found these ladies to be the constant voice of encouragement as we work to measure up to the Godly standard for a family. This is not a quick transition, as a post I stumbled on this morning reminded me so refreshingly. Growth takes time.

Our story has been one that has happened gradually over the matter of a few years. It started with my last pregnancy, and an encounter with someone who embodied the love and grace of Christ, that forced us to look at our lives and realize just how far we had walked away from God. Since that realization, coupled with a bottoming out of our family life, (You have to reach Rock bottom to know God is your Rock, right?) things have been changing bit by bit as the Holy Spirit changed our hearts, and used scripture to turn us more and more toward him. I won’t go through every little detail and change, but suffice it to say, 2 years later, we are a completely different family with different goals, priorities, circumstances, and daily lives. I went from being a career minded woman in school with a full time job to being a stay at home Mom homeschooling our oldest. My husband went from being a man who was nagged within an inch of his life to taking leadership of our family with love and mercy. Life has taken a complete turn around.

Today, as a part of that turn around, I was convicted (*several* times) about a constant issue of mine: Self Control. My lack of self control has not only affected my ability to be a helpmeet to my husband, but to properly train my children as well.

Reading a post on Large Families on Purpose about sharing bedrooms hit home. I am currently trying to rearrange our home to make room for a new little one. We are moving our youngest into a bedroom with our two oldest to make the “nursery” available for the new one. I am also coupling this project with Holiday Prep (I am a BIG Christmas Decorator! I LOVE Christmas!) House purging (We have too much stuff and not enough room!) and Seasonal Clothing Rotation. I am doing all of this at once, not because I thought it would be wise, but because they all affect each other! We need to find more space for the new baby, we need to rearrange clothing storage to do that, and the decorating is something I love to do…  *blush*

But, in reading this post, seeing the beautiful bedrooms, and the practical, but elegant arrangements, I felt overwhelmed. How will I ever measure up? How will I ever begin to maintain a home that can not only house, but nurture and develop the character of 4+ children? I suddenly felt how woefully inadequate my skills are for such a task, and how weak I am in self discipline.

For instance:

Every morning, as her children awaken, she has them start immediately on tasks, (morning duties and school.) and are not allowed to enjoy free time until those are complete.

*instant conviction*

I don’t do that. and I certainly don’t expect my children to. There was a time when I did, and our house was fantastically clean, and getting better every day, but this pregnancy has been rough, between the first trimester issues, then the second trimester began with other physical issues. Three weeks of sickness later, I have developed a routine that is an encouragement to laziness. We now have roughly an hour in the morning where my children awaken before I am ready to be moving. I’ve let them start their day with cartoons. Then, when I am up and moving with our youngest, I ease them into the school day, which has a few breaks for free time, and then, we finish sometime before supper. This drags our day out quite a bit, and keeps me from getting much done, other than school work and basic chores. When my husband gets home, I knuckle down and complete whatever I haven’t all day, while he keeps the kids busy. This worked when I was sick, but now that I am better. I know I have allowed bad habits to develop. I don’t know where to begin to bring everyone back from the land of leisure, and back into serious business.

I have lost sight of God, and begun to think in terms of me, and what little I have. Alone, I AM inadequate, but with him, “I can do all things.”

I have lost sight of the scriptural principle of work first, play later. I have let my sickness overpower a trust in the victory I have in Christ. I have lost sight of what God’s word has to say about diligence, perseverance, and submission to God’s plan. I know that Proverbs speaks often of the ant, and of the benefits of work. I know it is true, I’ve seen it, but it is oh so easy to slide by on only what is required, and nothing more. I can improve so so much. and I KNOW that that clean, elegant bedroom is the result of a well disciplined family who puts work first. I know firsthand the happiness of self discipline, but, I don’t measure up. So how do I fix this cycle of bare minimum and begin to achieve things in our home, our character that honor God? I can’t fix it, only God can. So, firstly, a bit of prayer, and acknowledgement of his strength, power, and victory in my life, and then I act on that. Right now.

Time to get on my knees, ask for his strength, and conviction, and then roll up the sleeves, and begin work. As my Mom says, start at your feet. 🙂

Measuring Up

Life As A Cheapskate! (Or, the Pinterest Post)

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The more I see of my friend’s pins on pinterest, the more ideas I get, and the more sure I am that going through my friend’s pins takes up enough of my time without joining pinterest to boot! Haha!  So anyway, I have a friend’s birthday coming up, and I wanted to do something special for her! The more I thought and thought, the more I realized that absolutely nothing I could afford was special enough. So, I made something. Something that combined all of the things I know about her into one object! And yeah… I did Pinterest stalk to see what kind of quotes she likes, and what kind of home decoration items caught her eye! Proverbs 31 comes to mind in moments like these, moments where I think of the woman bringing goods from afar, clothing her household in scarlet, etc. This Proverbs 31 lady did not order stuff online and call it a day! She purposed to serve others, and she took time, and sought out the best she could with what she had, AND more importantly, she wasted nothing! It says “her husband need fear no spoil.” ( I loosely paraphrased…)

So, when it came time to make a craft, I’ve tried my best to make the best with what I’ve got! Some recent goodies were my scripture windows, which I made with all things found in my attic, sewing box, with my laptop, and in my pen drawer.  The final thing looked like this:

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I was pretty happy with the whole thing!

So I felt confidant enough to try my hand at frugal crafting again! I don’t have the money to hit up Michael’s or AC Moore, even with coupons, so it was another case of raid the sewing box! I found this idea on my friend’s pinterest and was intrigued. I wondered how simple it would be to gather what I had, and buy what I didn’t? I dismissed it as too expensive, but was SO surprised by what I found when pricing items. Let me tellya, Walmart is not my favorite place, but it has its uses! $1 spray paint  and 50 cent stickers being one of them!

So I started with this:

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This version of the pinterest project included $4.50 worth of letter stickers, $1 worth of spray paint, an old pillowcase for fabric (FREE!) and a canvas I found in my husband’s art stash left over from his college days as an artist. Now not everyone has said stash, but I’ve heard they run roughly $5 for smallish ones at craft stores. Overall it cost me about $6, but it could run $11-$12ish.  I stapled the cut pillowcase onto the canvas, put the stickers on the fabric, and then spray painted! Took me about an hour overall (those letters are tricky!) After it dried, I pulled the letters off. B-e-a-utiful! But I felt it needed some pizzaz! So I got to work!  Now, I am the Mom who saves some of the stained old ugly baby clothing in a HUGE bag, so I can cut them up later and not pay for notions, and this comes in handy for crafting too! and even better… they were hand-me downs! That translates to SUPER FREE!
So… I did this:

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I found me some fabric glue, and I set to work! First I laid out the stuff, but I didn’t like the first try, so the notions got a second go. Leftovers ended up in the sewing basket for next time. Here is the first try, it struck me as too gaudy:

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So the second time around I liked the layout, and glued it on promptly! It ended up like this:

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So there you have it! for a grand total of $6 I made this! I feel accomplished. And I have no idea if it is even worth $6, but hopefully my friend will find it to be priceless! ❤ I really want it to communicate that not only do I love her and care for her, but that God has plans for her life that are even more precious than she can imagine, and that knowledge alone is more valuable than gold!

Mom? What is there to eat?

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A friend and I were talking yesterday (Jenny from DIYparenting) about how to simplify and manage snacking. She uses a snack bin system that is perfect for growing families when life gets busy. As the number of children increases, we’re both finding more and more ways to simplify, and to make things work more easily for children who are becoming independent.
Here is what Jenny does:  She packages a few snacks in individual servings for each day, at least three possible choices, and enough for each child to have two a day. Then, when they are hungry, in the morning, or afternoon, they can retrieve whatever snack they desire from the snack bin independently. This is a wildly genius idea, because I often find my children, in their urge to snack, have eaten an ENTIRE bag of pretzels in one sitting! This is so frustrating for someone who is trying to live frugally, and not waste anything! It is also frustrating for someone who is trying to instill good eating habits!  Another part of living frugally, and healthily, is the fact that often I may not have it in my budget for prepackaged snacks. I often have to bake them. But I also don’t always have the time or energy to bake several batches in one shot. Sometimes I have more time and energy then I need, and then I do freezer baking! This is the extent of my freezer meals, because I’ve had no success in making a whole freezer meal work. I’ll spare you the stories of failed soup as freezer meals… Lets just say it took longer to thaw than it would have to make fresh soup, and it tasted vile!

In response to the 4 Mom’s post on freezer meals, I’m going to enjoy my first linky to 4 Moms via one of my new favorite blogs Life In A Shoe! 🙂 I LOVE reading her blog, it is so encouraging!

Here is what I do for “freezer meals” I bake a lot extra when I do bake, and then I freeze some each time, this way when I’m having a rough morning, or am out of ingredients, whatever the case may be, I can whip out some zuchini bread, or corn bread, or muffins, or any kind of baked good, put that thing in the oven for a few minutes and voila! Fresh baked _____! My newest favorite recipe is very simple, and very healthy. (Well, if you don’t count the amount of butter! Which I’ve reduced, but not that it makes it a whole ton better! Ha!) I love making this recipe with my kids because it is just so simple and begs for little helper hands! The original Pastry recipe can be found at Food Cookture with pictures. 🙂

Easy Fruit Turnovers

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For the Puff Pastry:
I doubled the recipe to make a total of 1 dozen turnover squares, I did not roll them thin enough though, so rolling the dough thinner may yield more! 🙂

Ingredients:

  • 1 3/4 cups flour
  • 8 Tablespoons unsalted butter
  • Pinch of salt
  • 10-12 Tablespoons ice-cold water modify depending on the flour, start with 10, then work your way up to a doughy consistency.
  •  1 egg for the egg wash before baking(beat the egg, then brush over assembled turnovers.)
    Directions

    1. Mix Sifted Flour and Salt in Mixing bowl. Add Ice Water.
    2. Cut butter into small squares, I cut the stick in half, then cut vertically to make the cubes. Cut into flour mixture using a fork (or if you’re really blessed, use a pastry blender! One day… one day I might have one of these! until then, I’ll work my muscles! )
    3. Once the mixture loosely resembles a crumbly doughy texture, turn out onto floured surface. The more you roll it with a pin, the more it will get doughy and smooth.
    4. Use a rolling pin to roll the mixture out, work extra pieces of dough, flour, and butter into mixture as you turn and fold.  IMPORTANT: Keep the dough cold! if the butter softens too much, put it in the fridge to rest, or just roll it out onto a tray you’ve pooped into the freezer. This can be tough though, so I usually just let it rest.

    Making the Turnovers.

    1. Roll the pastry into a rectangle shape. Fold it like a business letter, one third down, and one third back over the other two thirds. Rotate from a horizontal position to a vertical one. The rectangle is now longways vertically.
    2. Repeat above step, fold and roll, 4 times overall. Rotate as you do this. The dough will continue to get smoother and smoother as you do. Make sure to be consistent and rotate in the same direction.
    3. Wrap finished dough roll into plastic wrap and put in fridge to rest at LEAST 30 minutes. Will keep for up to 2 days in the fridge. You can also freeze it at this point, and save for later.
    4. Remove from fridge (or thaw at room temp) and roll, as above, 2 more times.
    5. Roll out to a thin pastry (1/4 inch thin) and cut into squares. It doesn’t have to be perfect, so long as you can fold it over onto itself and seal the edges closed. The ends of the dough ended up being rectangles and weird ovals for me, but I don’t like to waste, so I worked with what I got!
    6. Lay the pastry dough out, placing fresh fruit (I used strawberries, blueberries, any kind of berry is perfect really, as it cooks well! I also sprinkled them with a little bit of sugar) on half of the dough surface. Fold dough over, and seal at the edges with a fork. Cut an x in the top of the pastry.
    7. Beat an egg and brush the tops of the prepared pastries. (This is the part my kids REALLY enjoy doing! :))
    8. Bake at 400 degrees for 20-25 minutes, until tops are golden brown.
    9. Eat a few and freeze the rest! They make a wonderful morning snack, pop them back into the oven, straight from the freezer, 20 minutes at 400 degrees, and then place in a snack bin for the wee ones! They also pack well for Daddy’s lunches!

Repurposing- Titus FO meeting notes

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So I’m learning to streamline, simplify, repurpose, and clean up my life as a Mom, a Wife, a Woman, and a human being.

I’ve thrown out a ton of junk, focused on more specific goals as opposed to unrealized and undefined dreams, and the last bastion of undefined is this blog.

I’m repurposing it.

I will be using it as a companion to the budding homeschooling ministry that is being started at our church. I’ll use this blog for meeting notes, announcements, general thoughts, and a discussion springboard. Lets see if this works out! Here goes nothin’! 🙂

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Titus Family Outreach Meeting notes from the March Meeting:

This meeting began with some more general topics, and went from there! Here are my notes, please feel free to jump in and comment here, or on Facebook!:

1. Dedicating a room/schedule to schooling.

a.) Workbox method, or dedicating a whole room? Is it practical? Does it help to make things more defined and easier to do?

b.) Schedule vs. Routine. What kind of structure works? Should it be a strict school-like schedule, or more of a flexible fit as you go?

The consensus of this discussion was that with young children, routine is handy, but too much routine can be constricting. Also that school doesn’t always have to be “formal” so depending on how we want to school our kids, the structure can impede or assist. We need more experience to speak on this subject. Feel free to weigh in!

2. Pervasive Influences

a.) How do we respond to what comes into our homes Biblically? Kids sin no matter what they are exposed to, but will what we expose them to encourage worse behavior?

b.) How do we reach their heart instead of merely addressing the behavior?

The consensus of this discussion is that a balance is needed. Using common sense on what our kids see, but not sheltering them from every possible bad experience is possible. Being ready to teach, instead of avoiding certain subjects all the time, is our best bet. Honesty, openness, and age appropriate scriptural instruction are all we know to use. Again, we lack experience to really know. The Bible is our guide.

3. Trusting God’s plan for our kids.

a.) Prayer and contemplation.

b.) Personal devotions, as a source of God’s strength.

This speaks for itself.

4. Future of Titus FO

a.) Seeking more information on Biblical roles of women.

b.) Check into interest in Steph’s Bible Study idea on the Titus 2 model of family life.

Consensus on this is that we need more discussion!

Jenny, Did I miss anything?

Comments and questions are VERY welcome! From the blogging world, AND Jacob’s church, Titus FO members!

So It’s Been Awhile

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I haven’t blogged very much since I went back to work from maternity leave for Ava, mostly because I was instead trying to juggle work, children, husband,  in that order.  Somewhere, somehow, God got a hold of my heart. I KNEW something needed to change, and change it did. Its been an interesting journey, but ever since I came back from maternity leave my heart was elsewhere. Work was no longer my passion, something that had died in me, and I realized that I needed to learn more about what God has for my life, not what I want for my life. I started digging, really digging, and felt newly convicted every day that my first ministry, my first responsibility is at home, with my husband, with my children. What once was thought of as a rash career move, now became reality.

Roughly a month or more ago, Governor Corbitt cut funding to my T.E.A.C.H. scholarship. This was the contract that held me back from resigning, as it kept me an employee with no less than 30 hours a week until June. I had planned to resign in June. With the cut in funding, I did some investigative work. I thought my contract would no longer be valid, and the program entirely discontinued, but found instead that although it is still valid, I am in a phase of my contract in which I can leave, without consequence. I have fulfilled my contractual obligations as far as credits, grades etc. and am free to leave. The only consequence of not finishing my “commitment period” till June, is no longer being eligible to receive the T.E.A.C.H. scholarship. (Since funding is cut to it, I wouldn’t be getting it back anyway.) This, coupled with my Mom’s declining health, was the decision maker. So, I quit. It is no coincidence that for the last year bit by bit, step by step, circumstances have led to this.  Too many to blog about, little things like happenings at work, scriptures I’ve read, (all for another post.) things I’d heard, tugs at my heart. God has been preparing me for this. Right down to his provision of money to replace our lost income.

So many many scriptures and prayers, and chats with my Bible study ladies. (shout outs to DIYparenting Jenny, and Shepherd Valley Farm Linda, plus many more encouraging ladies. Thanks for walking beside me, and pushing me onward, it has meant the world to me.)  Now here I am, almost a year later, and finally home with my children!

So here I am, finally at home with my little ones! I don’t know how much I shall be blogging, as it will (this time) take a backseat to my duties as a wife and mom.  So much has changed in these short months. I don’t know what I’ll be blogging about now, whatever God puts on my heart really, but, as always, I am still a crazy crazy Mom!! 🙂

Dude! Where’s My Car?!

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Last night, Allen came to pick the girls and I up at work for some family time.  We hopped into the rabbit (no pun intended) and drove to my Mom’s house to pick up Ava.  On the way back, we had a few errands to run, and then we intended to pick up my car, which I’d left at work. (About a mile up the road from our home.) After piling back into the rabbit, we stopped at the library to return some VERY late books, went to the grocery store to pick up a can of soup for to make some beef stroganoff.  In all our haste to make the stroganoff we went home quickly, and Allen played with the girls whilst I made supper.  In all my housewifery glory, supper was ready by 5, and we had a leisurely dinner.  We talked, ate, listened to a James MacDonald sermon, and overall had a relaxing time.  Just as Allen was about to head out the door, Sheila came with spinbrushes for the girls with sticker packets.  The girls spent plenty of time working on their sticker brushes and were thrilled with the best birthday present ever!! (I was all for it, toothbrushes after all that cake? Yes please!)   After sharing some leftover Emma birthday cake with Sheila, she went on her merry way, and we were then graced with the presence of my parents, with whom we also shared some cake, and Emma received another good gift.  All’s well that ends well, and fighting a huge headache, I put the girls to bed, and after applying various remedies, I went to bed myself.

Morning came.  Unfortunately, Sanity did not accompany it!  Allen arrived home from work with a gift for Emma, and we all gathered round while she opened it, and enjoyed it.  This took some considerable time, and we were late to leave.  Ever the gentleman, Allen offered to drop the girls off at my Mom’s, so I could get to work on time.  I went outside, helped him strap the kids into his car, noting that mine was not parked with his, therefore, it MUST be out back by the garage! I kissed everyone goodbye, went back inside, packed my lunch, humming all along.  I was pleasantly surprised to note that I was leaving a full 5 minutes early, and fully confidant that I would impress my supervisor with my early arrival. I grabbed my keys, walked out the door to find… NO CAR in the backyard.

Uhmmmm.  Dude, where’s my car?!?

Now I might enjoy running, but I can’t do a mile in 10 minutes.  Which is all the time I had left at this point.  Oh yeah, and I live at the bottom of the hill that my employer sits on top of.  Whoops.

After a few moments it hit me…  I had left it at work last night.

I laughed.  I just realized I did something pretty dumb.  I lost my car.  How do you lose your car? It had taken me almost 5 minutes of standing there, jiggling my keys and laughing at myself to come to my senses (if indeed I have sense.)  I ran inside, looked at the clock, 5 minutes till I gotta be on the floor. Dang.  I called work.

“Hello, L——– L——– C——-”

“Hey, K, I lost my car.”

“You WHAT?!”

“I lost my car”

“Oh yeah, we were wondering why it was in the parking lot all night! How did you lose it?”

“We left yesterday, and I left it overnight by accident.  We forgot to pick it up.  I was calling cause I’ll be a little late.”

“Well I can come and pick you up. How’s that?”

“Oh, I was gonna run, but I’d be later, that would work out better cause I’ll be on time then…”

“Alright, I’ll be right there! Hahaha!! Only you!”

I went back outside, and stood by the street laughing at myself.  Every time I would get a straight face, I’d start to giggle again.  After K arrived, I had a slightly embarrassing two minute ride to work. (It is kind of embarrassing to be an adult, a mother of three who lost her car, y’know?)

When all is said and done, I am glad to work with people who not only have a fantastic sense of humour, but take me as I am.  

A wacko…

An Apology

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I apologize for my extended absence from blogging.  I know I have been amazingly remiss in my blogging.  Juggling kids, work, running, takes alot of time, energy, and mental fortitude.  I’m beat.  oh… and we’re all sick.  Again.  Why is it we’re always sick?  Tonight, we are all on the road to recovery, and that is excellent, as it has afforded many fun moments.

My excellent neighbor, Chasity, came over tonight with a goody bag of shoes (2 pairs of heels) jewelry, sunglasses, and a box of cupcakes.  HALLELUJAH! My night was saved!  Many great moments ensued.  My children managed to show their wild sides, and Chasity managed to tame the beasts.  Emma felt Chas up while pretending to be Dr. Emma  checking a heartbeat with a necklace for a stethoscope and Sarah licked her cupcake to shreds.  Emma also inhaled her cupcake in a matter of seconds, just shows she’s back to her Olympic champion self.  Eating like a hound.  They both covered themselves in Jewels, and Sarah opened a jewelry store.  7 cents for a ring!  (I wish she ran a real store…) and 8 cents for shoes!  (This is why she should run DSW…)

All in all, everything is good in Sacks land, now if only I wasn’t too tired for inspiration, and too drained to speak.

The New Fad: Selfish Parenthood

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As I’ve been reading a few blogs and news articles recently, a few have struck me dead on as a dangerous reminder of how self centered some in our society have become, and how duped the rest of us have become in applauding them for “finding freedom” in making their own choices, and being “courageous” enough to share.

Let me start off by saying, that in the two cases I am about to discuss, this is a large load of steaming cow dung.

First, the courageous woman who makes her own form of motherhood: Rahna Reiko Rizzuto.  I am at a loss as to the “courage” of choosing to leave your young children, because motherhood just isn’t for you.

Secondly, the woman who loves her son more. I don’t understand how anyone can think like this, or why posting this train of thought “takes guts” as some commenters said.

Overall, I am personally in shock and awe of this new phenomenon, selfish parenting.  I am a parent, and not a (cliche alert) perfect one at that, but who is? I believe in Parenting By The Book, and Free range parenting. I believe that children should learn with the goal being independent, and  achieving successful adulthood, not dependence and extended childhood.  I believe that parenting is not about self gratification, but about teaching, guiding, disciplining, and trusting your children to grow up, and become fulfilled adults. That takes sacrifice, be it sacrificing time, dignity, popularity, date night, or a clean house.

I also believe that parenting is, by nature, a selfless act.  Nobody chooses to be a parent because they are lured in by the joys of potty training, or lusting after the fun of stomach viruses and two year olds. No one is exclaiming over the joys of diaper pail smells, or the wonders of never being able to pee in peace.

Parenting is not for the faint of heart. Everyone knows that.

It has its bountiful joys, beautiful smiles, baby giggles, ah-ha moments, and big hello hugs, proud-you’re-my-kid moments. But I believe it is an insult to those yearning to be parents all over, to those who have prematurely lost their chance at parenthood, to forge this “brave” new kind of parenting, this “honesty” and level of “confession” meant to “empower” parents.  All it does is encourage selfishness, and excuse making. Parenting is nothing simple, nothing small, nothing easy.  It is a glorious challenge, full of amazing adventures. I resent this “new kind of parenting” that diminishes the true joys and struggles of thoughtful, committed parenting.

I also believe that this “new kind of parenting” cuts our kids legs out from underneath them, and no matter if we are free rangers, or attachment believers, can’t we all agree on one thing? We want what is best for our kids, thats why we do what we do, despite the “I hate you Mom” moments, the slammed doors, the crumb filled kitchens and chocolate handprints on our laptop, and the peanut butter smears on the windows. We don’t do this because it makes us feel good (lets be honest moms, it does NOT make us feel good 24/7.)  Parenting is not about feeling! It is about good hard work and elbow grease, because it is the right thing to do, and because no matter how Junior makes us feel, we love him ANYWAY!

I know I am thankful for the unconditional love and sacrifice my parents exhibited for me.

What Do I Believe About Education? (Mom, Not Teacher)

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Tonight I had the pleasure of attending a MARS meeting, one which I hope to repeat (Babysitters welcome!) The subject was one, which to some, is very controversial.  I know each of my forays into the topic of education have been VERY controversial.  However, it was such an encouragement to be affirmed and reminded of why I believe what I do about education.

What do I believe about education? (Not the teacher me, the Mom me.  The teacher me is limited in my beliefs by my job.)

  • I believe education is ultimately the responsibility of the parent.
  • Teachers and schools should act as an extension of the home, and not the other way around.
  • Education is more than imparting knowledge, it is teaching children how to live life.
  • Education is more than academic, it is also physical, spiritual, moral, and should contain elements of self control, discipline, and the finality of truth. In fact, the academic part of education is a mere bonus.  The meat is in the how to live life part.
  • I believe the best education for my children is one that encompasses academic knowledge framed in Biblical beliefs.

I know this is a hard pill for some around me to swallow.  I’ve recieved criticism, hostility, and outright resistance against the choices made on my children’s educational futures.  I also feel that as much as it is a controversial subject, I need to make a stand about my choice, and not back down, no matter how many people in my life kick and scream about this decision.  I cannot apologize for a directive that is not mine.  Allen and I make decisions about our children’s futures based on the biggest authority we know, the Bible.  I know this is not a popular viewpoint, but there it is.

2 Timothy 3:16

“All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:”

Proverbs 22:6

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

I believe that all my children’s knowledge should be based on the most important knowledge of all, that of God and his word, and what he offers us. I cannot make other families choices for them, nor should I, but I reserve the right to choose for my family.

Joshua 24:15

“And if it seems evil to you to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you live. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”