Monthly Archives: August 2011

Step Out and Live It Up!

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“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

Hebrews 11:1 

Sometimes it takes one little nudge, sometimes it takes many to motivate us to do things we would otherwise have passed over.  I have been passing over my faith for years now. I had been putting God on the back burner.

And yet, I wondered, why God was not there for me JUST when  I WANTED him. Or even when I needed him.  Lately, I have been reading this book “CrazyLove” by Francis Chan. It brought me to a realization that it was not God who had deserted me, but I who had deserted him. How can I expect God to work in my life when I will not obey him?

Its like that visit to the Doctor. You know, the one where you either lie outright, or hide certain information from him? Its too embarrassing, or you just don’t think he has to know that you stopped taking that medication on your own. You just thought you didn’t need it. Or, you don’t care that he’s asked you to lose weight, because you can’t give up your cheese curls.  Because you refused to cooperate with Dr. Chucky’s cure for you, you have lost the right to hold him responsible for the fact that your current condition ISN’T getting better, or that you haven’t lost weight. Not that Doctor’s are God mind you, (I’d hate to perpetuate THAT myth!!) but that when we walk away from what God has for us, what right do we have to complain when its not working?

Well, God pulled me back. For whatever reason, he did. It is one beautiful life, following what God has for us. I didn’t realize that in denying God opportunities to work in my life, I was living a rather Godless life.  So right now Faith is what we live on here. We are hoping and praying God will provide for us this year, financially, physically, and all that, and so far, God has provided schooling for the girls, and ability to be a Mom and a teacher for me, and so far we have wanted for nothing. This year’s blogging goal will be to share the results of stepping out in faith, and how God provides for our family! Here’s hoping it’s an encouragement to someone!

So It’s Been Awhile

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I haven’t blogged very much since I went back to work from maternity leave for Ava, mostly because I was instead trying to juggle work, children, husband,  in that order.  Somewhere, somehow, God got a hold of my heart. I KNEW something needed to change, and change it did. Its been an interesting journey, but ever since I came back from maternity leave my heart was elsewhere. Work was no longer my passion, something that had died in me, and I realized that I needed to learn more about what God has for my life, not what I want for my life. I started digging, really digging, and felt newly convicted every day that my first ministry, my first responsibility is at home, with my husband, with my children. What once was thought of as a rash career move, now became reality.

Roughly a month or more ago, Governor Corbitt cut funding to my T.E.A.C.H. scholarship. This was the contract that held me back from resigning, as it kept me an employee with no less than 30 hours a week until June. I had planned to resign in June. With the cut in funding, I did some investigative work. I thought my contract would no longer be valid, and the program entirely discontinued, but found instead that although it is still valid, I am in a phase of my contract in which I can leave, without consequence. I have fulfilled my contractual obligations as far as credits, grades etc. and am free to leave. The only consequence of not finishing my “commitment period” till June, is no longer being eligible to receive the T.E.A.C.H. scholarship. (Since funding is cut to it, I wouldn’t be getting it back anyway.) This, coupled with my Mom’s declining health, was the decision maker. So, I quit. It is no coincidence that for the last year bit by bit, step by step, circumstances have led to this.  Too many to blog about, little things like happenings at work, scriptures I’ve read, (all for another post.) things I’d heard, tugs at my heart. God has been preparing me for this. Right down to his provision of money to replace our lost income.

So many many scriptures and prayers, and chats with my Bible study ladies. (shout outs to DIYparenting Jenny, and Shepherd Valley Farm Linda, plus many more encouraging ladies. Thanks for walking beside me, and pushing me onward, it has meant the world to me.)  Now here I am, almost a year later, and finally home with my children!

So here I am, finally at home with my little ones! I don’t know how much I shall be blogging, as it will (this time) take a backseat to my duties as a wife and mom.  So much has changed in these short months. I don’t know what I’ll be blogging about now, whatever God puts on my heart really, but, as always, I am still a crazy crazy Mom!! 🙂