I’m going to do a little exercise here. I will describe my children. There will be a list of 5 things for each entitled: My Child Is. We’ll do this in age order. Enjoy! (Note: this will be saved for boyfriends later on. We will need SOME kind of ammunition, aside from the shotgun, to scare off the awful ones.)
1. Terribly Polite. Known as “No Thank You Girl” at some functions due to her crying wildly and going “No THANK YOU!” While other children terrorize her. Easy Target. Needs a little support. That being said, she eats like a dainty little kitten! So cute!
2. Little Miss Encyclopedia. She can name all sorts of body parts, and enjoys teaching other people things she knows. I love her spongelike mind!
3. Quite a reader. It is not uncommon to hear her whine “Read it to meeeeeee!”
4. A romantic. Prince Charming is around every corner, and Laurie Berkner and a sewing leftover can become a grand ball instantly. Wild imagination on this one! She’s also rather fond of impromptu tea parties and picnics. Eating is not the name of the game, the game is the name of the game. Why eat when you can hold your pinkie up and giggle?
5. Quite the chatterer. She says the Darndest things. Like today’s gem “Mom, I am drawing for Emma, she doesn’t know anything, so I’m teaching her…” Riiiiiiight. You do that.
1. You all know what goes here. A NUDIST!
2. A singer. She can be frequently found singing to Ava. Its adoreable! Until she tries to smack her, it all goes downhill from there…
3. A bit of a bully. Excels in the hit and run toy theft. Smack Sarah, wait for tears, take toy, run away giggling. This is a habit we are at present trying to break.
4. A real eater. Eats me under the table. She inhales her food in seconds! There’s a platefull, BAM! Its gone. More Please?
5. An accessorizer. While clothes aren’t important, accessories are! You will often find her bedecked in a sombrero, necklaces, bracelets, heels(mine) rings, and a backback. Clothing optional!
1. Pudgy. We boast a Beergut and cankles. 🙂 I love pudgy babies!
2. A smiler. Wakes up so darn chipper in the morning. Meanwhile I’ve got crazy hair and morning breath, and she’s giggling and kicking away. Why are we so darned happy?
3. A eater. This child may take after Emma when solids are introduced. I kid you not. This child is ALWAYS packing it in!
4. Sleeps like a rock. This kid will sleep through Emma streaking, and Sarah yelling at Emma for being nude, and me chasing the two of them to keep them from eating all the cookies. Yet, she lays there, smile on her face, calmly sleeping through it all.
5. A fan of the vacuum. If we WANT her to sleep like a rock, turning that puppy on and letting it run for five minutes in earshot will do the trick. Every. Time.
1. Crazy. I enjoy cooking with the lot, playing stupid games, and singing silly songs. I also like torturing myself by doing crazy parent stuff.
2. Absolutely frazzled. It gets LOUD around here. And some days, I feel like I live in the zoo. Sometimes, I need to just stand amidst the chaos and nibble on chocolate. Calmly. While they tear my house apart. Its a necessary evil. What can I say?
3. An escapist. I will admit, here and now, to letting them run amuck, while I hide on my favorite rocking armchair, holding Ava, and watching a movie while I’m nursing her. Call me terrible, call me lazy, but sometimes I just need my pudgy kid and some netflix.
4. I like my alone time. Running is the current mode d’emploi, and not only is it restoring my sanity, but I have the added plus of restoring my figure. Hubba Hubba. the spandex doesn’t really upset the hubby either… I think he likes it. All in all, it beats bathroom web surfing while the chaos rages outside the door, with Allen as referee.
5. I love our nightly snuggle sessions before bedtime. I get to love my children, instead of escape them, and they love me back, all over a good book. Whats not to love? Plus, the best Sarahisms come out at this time. Half asleep suits her…
1. Always tired. That whole third shift idea? The guy who came up with it is on my LIST. I dunno what kind of list this is, but its not good!
2. A good sport. He puts up with all the females, PLUS our craziness, and with a smile on his face. I don’t know how he does it.
3. He does ALL the dishes AND the laundry AND the grocery shopping. Can’t get any sexier than that!
4. Has a great sense of humour. Nothing like laughing with your hubby over a poopy smeared living room!
5. Is my partner in every way. This has grown through the good times and the hard times. Its a wonderful thing to live.