Today it hit me. Not long now. Not long at all till I kiss my precious babies on their soft heads, and leave them in the care of others so I can get on with earning money.
I have no problem with earning money.
And I have no problem with my children being cared for by others.
But I really really really would rather stay home and cherish the quiet moments, the loud moments, the poop smears, the screaming arguments over who gets which Dora toy, The discussions over lunch, the overanalyzation of every story, than work.
Really. My kids are better than work. There, I said it.
Last night, as I sat there, holding Ava, Sarah leaning on me, Emma sitting in front of the TV, all of us singing along with Ariel, I thought, “I’m gonna miss so much of this.”
I am not a helicopter parent by any means, but I feel somewhat guilty from time to time, that I don’t spend more time cherishing these young years.
So I spent time last night cherishing my young kids. I asked Emma to join me for a snuggle festival (her idea of heaven, and the only time she’ll sit still. It consists of sitting on Mommy’s lap and sighing alot.) We all watched the last 20 minutes of The Little Mermaid like this. I was so exhausted that even buried in three kids, I was hovering in and out from sleep to awake. Sarah spent this time explaining to me which character in the movie was which family member in our family. (Apparently Allen is the Prince, and she is Ariel, so they’re gonna get married. I set her straight real fast. He’s mine, paws off, find your own, thats gross. Sarah then went on to assign Emma as Flounder, and Ava as Sebastian. I don’t think Ava is that sassy, all 2 months of her, but whatever.)
When the wedding of Ariel and Eric came, Sarah started dancing and jumping “This is my favorite part! They get married!” and of course Emma chimes in “They’re getting married!! Married!! They can have a snuggle festival FOREVER!” I love that Emma’s idea of heaven and marriage collide in a snuggle festival. I could handle that! Sarah fell to sleep almost immediately after I put them to bed, and Emma stayed awake (of course) She snuggled up to me, and we played a lovely little game of zrrbrrttt the face. I held her close, and she enjoyed the extra hugs, while I guilt tripped over how much time I’ve spent this maternity leave wishing I had a break from them!! Now I get one, and I don’t want it. I’m paid for it too. Funny how that works.
I love my kids. I’ll miss them while I’m working. But I know they’ll be fine. Here’s to cherishing the special moments and the snuggle festivals!